How To Conveniently And Successfully Find Yourself On 1.9 Grade Point AverageMay 28, 2018
THE ARTICLE IS PURELY SATIRICAL
SO TAKE ALL TIPS IN THE OPPOSITE MANNER
THIS ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN TO ADVISE ALL FRESHERS ON THE RIGHT ATTITUDE IN THEIR
FIRST YEAR IN SCHOOL.
STALITES COULD ALSO LEARN FEW TIPS.
NOTHING SHOULD BE TAKEN PERSONAL.
-Class Rep of Ui LLB2021
Empiricism, as one of the Philosophy school of thought, argued that knowledge comes from experience. It’s on the empiricist school of thought which opines that “Experience is the best teacher” that my tales of HOW TO CONVENIENTLY AND SUCCESSFULLY FIND YOURSELF ON 1.9 GRADE POINT AVERAGE would be based.
So open your ironical mind and read on.
Just like George Orwell, I’m one of the few people in the world in which its moniker speaks popularity than its real name. I know most people, even till date, still don’t know my real name. They are accustomed with the Nick GOOGLE and I think that name really went viral during the 2016/2017 Orientation program at the International Conference Center, (ICC) when I came out to greet the seemingly exhausted audience like one of the student union leaders. I shouted “Greatest Uites Greatest Gbagba Greatest Gbogbo”. Well, I deliberately used the word “shout” because that’s what most people concluded, but to me, I didn’t shout . I was only trying to wake the slumbering audience.
In fact, the VC almost flogged me for that. Probably he thought I’m going to turn out to be one political thug and he said I should drop the microphone but thanks to “the other man” beside him, I was allowed to express my mind… Never judge a book by its cover.
In a jiffy, orientation was gone and since I’ve portrayed my self as a “one kind jagaban”. Deep within me, I knew that everyone would be after me especially my CGPA.
Okay o, back to how you can successful make a 1.9GP
In this great book of all time “Think and grow rich”, Napoleon Hill opines:
“what a mind of man can conceive and believe it can archive”
So having a 1.9GP must start from your mind… It’s psychologically constructed mentality.
Carry the mindset that
“What do I even need high GP for? 🤷🏻♂”
“I just wanna finish and get the fuck out of here “
Those that are making it out there do they even go to school at all?
In fact, the head of this country’s claim, Nigeria, of elementary school is still arguable till date and yet he’s the president of Nigeria, the acclaimed “Giant of Africa”
so all the best fun GP o.
If you can just carry this mindset, my dear, you are, unarguably, on your way to that your desired GP which, in fact, might be lower than 1.9
I can remember vividly, the memory fresh in my head like wounds gotten from the Nigerian Civil War. Sometime in 2017, exams were near and I followed the multitude to do TDB. Truth be told, I enjoyed it to the fullest because all the readings was done in my dream . Around to 7 in the morning, I dashed out of the law LLT to continue with my sleep in my hostel and I came across this mummy
(I don’t like to call someone a cleaner, but she’s a cleaner sha)
That was how she started. “Bross Weldon o, ah bross iyaf finish the life of book see how book is following you. ” At first, I was like
Skibo, wait are you kidding me? Ui is so complex that everybody engages in Aroism. Even cleaner will whine you.
What I’m driving at is, please, to really make your 1.9 G.P, succumb your self to whining . When you are reading and you notice someone coming, knowing well that he/she is going to whine you and you hate that , please just close your book.
In fact, forget about the reading and join him in whining. Wasting my time whining were the best moments of my life walai.
Now, going down memory lane, In 2016, we had not resumed then but we had done our screening and all that. We had even been added to a group created by our senior. The group was noisy and, in fact, argument was our forte. I don’t know why. Maybe the law-ish was “shacking” us then because, now, no single argument again on that group o.
So there was this argument – “Can a husband rape his wife?” 🤔 That argument was hot, believe me. You would think that we were in 500L or law school already . Come and see some people quoting marriage act in conjunction with constitution and I had never even seen a copy of constitution before. Chai..
As if that wasn’t enough, when we resumed, Some people started TDB(reading Till Day Break) that same day.
The funniest day of my life in the faculty of law was during our Law101 exam. I saw everyone carrying red pen so I ran to get one, thinking maybe it’s required to enter inside the exam hall but the invigilator did not ask for red pen. As we started the exam, the power of the red pen in some people’s script was enough to power the electricity of Awo hall .
Come and see how people we’re citing cases, authorities, etc.. Shey na so my red pen go day useless like this since I no sabi any case to cite?
Make e no be as if say me too a touch of red no dey my script. I just kuku use the red pen to rule the margins .
What I’m trying to say here is
Please allow them to take over your life. If you do ,your 1.9 is guaranteed.
Always thinking that someone is better than you or you can’t read as the other guy does is a really good way to make 1.9
Another factor is family interference . Yes, many of us are from broken homes, or problematic homes in one way or the other sha which always gives us sleepless nights.
Maybe your parents are poor and your friends are living a luxurious life, having more than 6 black and whites while you only have two, and, in fact, you bought them from Federal Republic of ‘Dugbe’. Your friends are collecting about 30k monthly allowance and you are not even collecting up to 5k annual allowance . Please, to make your 1.9, always think about those things. Let it weigh you down. Allow it to affect your concentration please .
In addition, maybe due to the financial issues you have, you have to find a means of sustenance by working. That’s very very good. Maybe you even want to start a business. That’s great also but I will beg you that you should please allow it to disturb your academics so your road to 1.9 won’t be rough .
Always miss classes
when you ought to be in class. Please stay at your place of work and make cool cash .
Again, please try to be involved in everything
L & D.
Moot and Mock.
Whining, In fact be their leader
Aro. Be the boss
And after exhausting your self on all these, at night, when your mates are reading, please rest o. Just sleep. You really need it .
Another thing I love to do is to never listen while the lecturer is teaching. I would just be alone with my thoughts, thinking about my family and how I will make money. What the lecturer is teaching won’t help me.
In addition to that, please never jot anything while the lecturer is teaching. Please, you don’t need it in anyway It will help in getting that your desired 1.9.
I’m sure by now, you would have heard it from more than 2 seniors – “Form your own note. It will really help you “.
I must say emphatically here that THEY LIE
Forming note is a pure waste of time.. Please never subscribe to that idea. When it’s a few weeks to exam, you can always borrow someone’s note and read.
Please don’t ever use the search engine on your phone to make any research concerning what you’ve been taught in class .
Google is only good for searching latest news in the entertainment industry o jare
Search for the latest fight between Davido and Olamide
Those things are always cool and more lively than wasting your precious data on searching “The 3 fathers of Tragedy” or “the Father of Anthropology ” or even “detailed explanation on the classification of law”.
Most importantly, if you want to achieve this aim of 1.9, please stay where you would be disturbed
Some people are very good at doing Aro in the day and read at night.. Please join them, Do aro in the day and sleep at night since it’s medically advised that we should at least have a good rest for a complete 8hours. Your own case shouldn’t be any different. Sleep and sleep .
Another good thing is pilling up stuffs.
I mean don’t bother to open your book till exams are near jare.
Reading before exam period is a pure waste of time, believe me .
And when you are confused about anything, Please never ask questions.
Is it from that classmate of yours you will ask question and he won’t be proud later?
Please keep your problems to your self o jere. It’s a good ingredient to having a 1.9
Last but not the least, please
Be you Christian or Muslim
When you get to campus, pay 0% attention to your spiritual life please.
Stop going to church. Forget about jumat on Fridays. Please keep your Bible under your bed and return that Quran back home. You’ve been fasting before you resumed school?
Guy, you cannot be suffering yourself. please eat eat and eat Biko. Forget fasting. In fact, let me kuku say it like this,
Please forget your Creator. Just live your own life.
And you would be surprised when the book of life is out, just like I was flabbergasted when the book of life was released 100L first semester.
My name is Olubusade Olamilekan Olorunjeda Peter Love
Class Rep of UI LL.B class of 2021
I wish you all the best on your road to 1.9Connect To Us On: